You're NOT Special! But you are UNIQUE!




Identity is the "IT" addiction. Translated; "I have little value internally so I must create value externally. Notice me! Make me stand out. Feed my insecurity, even if that means over exaggerating my pain so that I am noticed and acknowledged." Identity can mean many things; a brand, a label, a partner, a CEO, or simply just a single human being. Regardless of the title on our "business card", most of us are searching for our unique fingerprint to help us "stand out" in the crowd. To be different. Yet most of us have also never been taught how to first meet, and then integrate our emotions, our insecurities, and our fears into our being.


EMOTIONS and beliefs drive most behavior, and yet we manage first on KPI's, then past results, and finally comparisons. We unknowingly drive our people apart. They become uninspired by the blame and shame methodology adopted by many unaware "Managers" who do not have the ability or skill to speak directly to the unique human being behind those "outcomes".


And this is the greatest hemorrhage in most businesses - the "ugly" part we want to ignore. The "tough" part of the human condition. We have inexperience leading inexperience. This addiction to be "special" is a clear symptom of people trying to create an identity externally, not internally. When this cohabitates with a lack of self-awareness, structured skills and processes and an awareness of others, we create a non-scaleable and negative work environment.


I'm sure we are all very similar in that we crave for anything to make us feel special, but in reality, no-one is "special". When we give up this addiction, and accept that we are all part of an amazing, intricate web of creation, we realize graciously that every single one of us is actually very unique, and essential, in our own way. We join together humbly to create a unique whole.


No-one is better - or worse - just different. And there is nothing more invigorating to the soul than to acknowledge this, and then celebrate as one.


Unfortunately, all of our societal relational, educational and business "systems" are based on comparison & competition. Our fear of the competition (and comparison & being the "best") will kill us every single time. Fear breeds copying, insecurity and destroys creativity.


Be brave enough to stand out, and alone if need be. Be humble enough to also be one of your crowd. There isn't anyone like you on this entire planet, and there never will be, therefore doesn't that make the concept of "competition" obsolete? Yes it does.


What scares me the most though, is we have an entire generation that has been raised (through no fault of their own) to believe, often unconsciously, that they are "special" (not unique) and that their "past hurts and/or feelings" are currency. That currency is now being used as a ransom to not take responsibility for themselves, or their choices. My generation created this, and it now time for the “elders” of our tribe to step up and guide this generation back to themselves, and to their feelings and the greatness they can bring to their own lives, the lives they influence and the companies they work within.


You can never truly connect with anyone - customers, friends, kids, family, your tribe ... until you connect with yourself, and that requires doing the "work".


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